Hi Folks
Good to see that there are few of you still looking in.
As you probably know I work for an adoption support agency on a voluntary
basis. I'm always being told how awful things on the internet are and that
"they ought to be banned".
I've just been in touch with my putative father's daughter from his later
marriage, so possibly my half sister. She was looking on Genes Reunited for
family tree info. My message must have come as a bit of a shock to her. She
has been able to fill in some gaps and tell me about another previous
"family" of his that are mentioned on my Barnardos ( Dr Barnardo's Homes)
file. Barnardo's Family Connections in Barkingside are astoundingly useless
at helping with anything like this.
So I have a personal interest in this as well as wanting to do a bit of
private research in to the number of positive stories and the number of
disasters. so far I've not heard of any bad results on any of the groups
I've posted to.
I've been the internet myself for over 10 years and couldn't tell you of a
single incidence where anyone has had a serious problem arising out of
using the internet for family searching. I've personally managed to reunite
quite a few people, sometimes because I already know the person they are
looking for from the groups.
Human nature being what it is, there no doubt have been some less happy
stories.
A lot of people haven't found what they were hoping for and have been
disappointed. For some the whole thing has fallen apart after a little
while, but that would have happened however contact had been made. No social
worker or counsellor can make people who are just not compatible,
compatible.
As long as you follow a few common sense safety rules, I think it is an
excellent tool for people searching. I wish the internet had been available
15 years ago when I started out. I could have told Barnardos ( Dr
Barnardo's) where to go stick its unenlightened twenty year out of date
(even then) "policies".
I do still think that it is a good idea to use an intermediary to make the
first contact particularly in adoption cases.
I would say, beware of people and organisations on adoption groups (or
anti-adoption groups) who claim to have all sorts of expertise and skills
that they simply don't posses.
If you were adopted or are a natural relative, ask to see their registration
with the CSCI as an adoption support agency. If they haven't got one but
claim to be registered as "voluntary organisation" it doesn't mean a thing.
Don't give them a penny, give them a wide berth.
If you're adopted and already know the name of the relative you seek, and
don't want to use an ASA or your adoption agency, it is easy enough to do it
yourself. If you're not able to diy, you'd be better of with a decent PI
firm at least most of them work to a specific code of ethics, unlike the
really dodgy unregistered "research foundations" that you might come up
against on the internet.. See http://www.theabi.org.uk/
If you are a relative looking for someone who has been adopted and you don't
know their name after they were adopted, you have little choice but to go to
an ASA or the agency that arranged the adoption, but shop around and ask
your local authority ss if they can help, some will. But if you want quick
efficient service an ASA is the best bet but you'll have to pay for it.
For information about the new regulation and practice for adoption searches
see http://www.adoptionsearchreunion.org.uk/ this is not a "government
website" as I've seen stated elsewhere, it is compiled by BAAF and it is
authoritative. The government's web site on all aspects of adoption
legislation including search and reunion is at
http://www.dfes.gov.uk/adoption/lawandguidance/
Most reputable agencies that help formally adopted people will also help
people who have lost contact with their family as a result of long-term
fostering or of being in care as a child.
Robin Harritt
http://harritt.net